Not Alone
Don't worry, you're not alone. Baby, those days are gone. I promise you it will get better, better. Corazon a Corazon ~ Prima J
I remember singing those words as a teenager because I loved the reassurance that I was not alone. Yet it did not seem to match my reality.
For as long as I can remember I have struggled with the feeling of loneliness and the fear of separation and isolation. I would sit in my classrooms surrounded by people, yet still feel alone and disconnected. When we moved to the U.S. it was even more isolating, because now I was surrounded by people with a different culture than me and I was the outsider.
But I never felt more immensely alone than my freshman year of college, moving into my university. I attended The University of Texas, at Dallas, located around 4 hours away from my family in Houston. I had never been to this school until my freshman orientation and move-in day, and suddenly I found myself waving goodbye to my family as they headed back to Houston. I was alone.
My feelings of loneliness were now matched by my physical state. Alone.
Over the next few months, I would make friends and get plugged into various groups on campus, but it didn’t truly alleviate the feelings of loneliness. I still felt so lonely and disconnected.
I thought I already had God so I wasn't really seeking Him, I was seeking people. So, I joined multiple religious groups in the hopes of making connections and finding a sense of belonging. I began watching various religious YouTubers for the same reason, yet I couldn't shake the depth of loneliness I felt.
Thankfully, God was seeking me. He sent a woman my way who asked me if I would be interested in studying the Bible, I said yes. As I did these Bible studies, I began to see a God that had always been with me, even when I felt lonely.
I saw a God was calling me to reach out to Him and that He was not far (Acts 17:26-28). I had been searching for something to fill my lonely heart and God had been desiring to fill me with Himself. My life was forever changed by His promise that He would be with me always, till the ever end of the age (Matthew 28:20).
One of the Scriptures I hold close to my heart to fight loneliness is Psalm 23:4
"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, FOR YOU ARE WITH ME; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. [NIV]
Psalm 23 is so written on the tablet of my heart, that it’s currently the only Psalm that I know parts of in French. 𝓒𝓪𝓻 𝓽𝓾 𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓬 𝓶𝓸𝓲.
There have been moments when I felt like I was going through the deepest darkest darkness alone and I've whispered this to myself so many times, sometimes with tears when there was nothing else to say.
𝓒𝓪𝓻 𝓽𝓾 𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓬 𝓶𝓸𝓲, 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕖. It is an anchor to remind me of the truth of the Omni-present One, the God who is always with me.
Scriptures that help me fight loneliness:
Psalm 23:4
Matthew 28:18-20
Isaiah 43:2,5
Joshua 1:9
Isaiah 41:10
Psalm 139 (THE WHOLE PSALM)
Psalm 46:5
Thank you for reading, please leave a comment below if you were impacted by this post.
